Bits and pieces of what I've been brooding over:
When do I return to work?
Do keep in mind that I will be able to bring E with me to work, so that's a huge relief. I cannot overstate what a massive relief this will be. Yes, working with a nursing infant to care for is working two jobs at once. But I feel the benefits far outweigh the cons. Children are meant to be social with other children, and infants are meant to be close to their parents for the first few months of life. I've been thinking of returning on April 4. When I mentioned this to my mom, she (surprisingly!) encouraged me to give myself a little more time. My mom knows me pretty well, and knows I tend to push myself too hard. Is she onto something? Will it hurt anyone to take off a little bit more time from work?
Another thing:
I think A believes I just stay home and that my life is easy. It's "easier" than working and caring for a newborn. But easy? I suppose the issue is more that I feel massively unappreciated and even invisible to A. After E was born, his concern was always about E. Was he okay, etc. It has never once been about my health, my pain level, my recovery. Maybe he has been concerned and didn't show it?
A is dealing quite poorly with stress. His anxiety level over the past month has been through the roof. It's at the point where he DOES need medical treatment. It's one thing to be stressed about work, but it's spilling into all aspects of his life.
But then...as I try and get the rest of my thoughts semi-organized for semi-public consumption...
I read this.
Good lord.
I forgot what I was going to say.
I really, really do need to make an appointment to get my hair cut though. Nothing drastic, it'd just be nice to have something make me feel "pretty".
*feel awkward writing that after that link...*
3 comments:
Oh Whit I am truly sorry. I am so ready to resign my stay at home position, I cant take it anymore its way harder than working, seriously. I am so excited for you to go back to work if and when you want that can be quite good for you. As far as when, I think about stress. Is it more or less stressful to go back sooner or later for you? It depends on how much you like your job or you like being at home. If you really love your job, it may be better to go back sooner if you have alot of cabin fever, etc. Also how do you feel physically? If you are still recovering and are tired and staying at home is not too bad maybe its better to go back a bit later. Lastly, do what YOU want to do. What will make YOU happiest? Sometimes a good stress of work is not draining if your job is good and you enjoy the interaction. But if it frustrates you alot, there are people who wear on you then maybe staying at home longer is better....
love
aly
I would take more time if you can. It is so exhausting early on, and if the baby comes with you, work does not really provide a break . . . (though it is very cool he can go with you! So jealous)
your title reminded me of the line from Prince's 1999-
"I was dreamin' when I wrote this; forgive me if it goes astray"
i really need you to hang in there for a while longer and stay home! you need to get your rest, relax, watch some crappy tv, watch some movies, read a book or two, nap, do some sewing, read some legislation... you are no good to anyone else if you neglect yourself!!!! and i know that i need you to be there for me in the future!!!
as for A- as much as i do love the boy- he needs to step it up times a thousand. maybe you can work on those boot camp reprogramming plans i joked about a while back. i don't understand why people avoid the shrink. at worst you kill an hour or two of your time. at best- you feel amazingly better. why not?
i wish there were a comic book or movie that could be shown to boys- like an educational filmstrip thing. would you be able to convince him to do couples therapy? blame it on you to get him there?
do consider taking some more time to mend, won't you? it's a good thing.
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