E.x.h.a.u.s.t.e.d.

Request: if you would like to be notified when the baby is born, please e-mail me and let me know! Some of you may be on the list already, but I don't want to forget anyone, so be safe and let your  forgetful pregnant friend know!

 This is the “home stretch” of pregnancy. I am 36 weeks, 5 days pregnant. As of Friday, I will be “full term.”

Given my proclivity to hold onto my babies and keep them safe inside, I imagine I have another 4 weeks to go before birth. I am pretty sure if baby E doesn’t arrive by 41 weeks, I’ll have to undergo a C-section without letting labour start on its own. Of course, I induced myself with C, so I will probably try that again if a scheduled section is in my future.

As I write this—and every day now for the past two weeks—he’s got his head nestled against my pelvic bone and my bladder. I feel like there is a bowling ball in me. Has he dropped? Don’t be silly. My babies don’t “drop”—they stay high up, crowding my lungs and stomach. A well-placed kick can cause I’ll lose my lunch. He’s just streeeeeeeeeeeeetched out, although I doubt he’s any more comfortable than I am! Poor guy, shoved in me, upside down. Mom is very much cramping his style.  

As achy and uncomfortable as I am, I don’t feel like complaining. The above statements are meant as observations and statements of fact, not complaints. I know that I’ll miss the little kicks that entertain me in the afternoon. This is, most likely, my last pregnancy. (I cannot say definitively because there’s no way of telling what the future holds, and saying something definitively seems to just tempt the Fates.)

It’s just odd that this is my last pregnancy. Yes, during this time of discomfort, it’s almost a relief. But I wonder if in another four or five years, I’ll miss it. (which is what happened this time around.)

I also worry much about an unplanned pregnancy. I am very fertile and have a fast metabolism. This fast metabolism I possess also causes me to metabolize medications at a much faster rate. A pain medication that should last 4-6 hours is through my system in 2-2.5 hours (sucky for migraines!) It also means things like the Pill don’t work for me, as was discovered in 2003. I have no desire to use a method of birth control that I cannot directly control. This means I’m distrustful of the IUD. Not only that, I’m adverse to it. I will NOT get one.

So what happens if we do, at some point after this baby is born, become pregnant? I have to think about this. Unplanned pregnancy has been a reality in my life, and once it has, it leaves you a bit traumatized. So I don’t know what we would do. I don’t know if we’d even agree on what to do. Both A and I have experienced an abortion, and it’s not something either of us want to face again. I’ve dealt with mine, but A never has and that issue comes up from time to time. I think he’s pro-choice for others, but I think he really has never forgiven himself for not “making it work” (which is his internalization of anti-choice propaganda. I did the same thing too but quickly got over that way of thinking and realized I did “make it work” by having the abortion.)   

(For the record, A and I have and are talking about this. I’m just sharing some of it with you all instead of going on and on about feeling the joint-and-socket of my femur and hip rubbing against each other.)

Now to a different but sorry, still pregnancy-baby-related topic.

Clothes.

Baby clothes are ridiculous. I reluctantly bought some this weekend. (I get so superstitious about prepping for baby, I should be Jewish.) It was tough for me, but I did. Just basic things to get us through the first day or two home. I figure after that, A can run out and get more (because laundry duty will be all his at that point!), or the grandparents will.

One thing that pissed me off when I had C was that all the cutesy little sayings had to do with being “Daddy’s Girl” etc. You can imagine how much this stung me. With a boy on the way, the cutesy sayings are all about “Mommy’s little monster” and other shit like that.

And it is shit.

1. My child, regardless of gender, is not a monster.

2 . Let’s keep re-enforcing the Oedipus/Elektra complexes.

So I kept looking around. And after the mommy/monster theme, the second most popular boy design seems to be…

Baseball.

And I could not bring myself to buy my child anything baseball related for the very ridiculous reason that this clip kept playing in my mind:

The Losing Edge
Tags: SOUTH
PARKmore...

The important, relevant part starts around 1:23 or so. THAT’s the part I keep thinking about when I looked at baseball themed baby clothes.

I ended up getting some gender-neutral clothing. The blue clothing I did get has puppies on it, or some other super-cutified animal.

I am so ready to give birth.