I am so fucking pissed at my parents.
Two years ago, some money
was transferred from their account to mine. My mom asked me about it,
and I honestly had no idea (I just checked certain things, didn't pick
up on it, and thought I was doing a better job budgeting.)
Well,
long story short, after telling me she believes that I didn't do it, and
having no proof that I did do it, they are demanding 4K NOW.
I
wrote my dad a goddamn check for that. I really want nothing to do with my parents . It's not fair to the kids to not let them see them, but I fucking
don't want to see them at all.
I reminded my dad I wasn't paid AT ALL
from March 2007 until end of August 2007, and again worked full time
with half-time pay from January 2009-April 2009.
I did the math in my head. That's more than 4K.
My dad said, "But we paid C' child care."
No, you didn't. Yes, I was living with you during that time, but I paid for her child care, our food, my doctors, my student loans.
Oh.
I can't tell A; his parents are all about giving us money and think mine should be too. It's delightful when someone else's parents tell you what your own parents should do.
Yeah, on that note, but the fuck out.
So I guess my parents don't believe or trust me, or love to kick me when I'm down.
It's
taking all my strength to not hurt myself at the moment. I cannot win. I
can't even make myself happy. I can't even tolerate myself. I only
wrote the check so they'd STFU.
I really, really, really hate
life and my family right now. They'll bend over backwards to help
others, and yet kick me when I'm down. My sister has even noted this.
They paid her student loans and COBRA (over 1K a month) when she's
unemployed. I don't play the "you did this for her but not for me
game."...but maybe I should. Maybe I'm too nice and/or intimidated by my
mom. I love her, yet I dislike her sneaky-I'm-not-going-to-be-the-mess anger-but-demand-this game.
It's painful game. I lose every time.
It's not like it's a first for her. I really should know better.
I really just want to disappear. I see no point to life, whatsoever, except to not orphan C.
And
part of me thinks she'd be better off without me. And yeah, that's the
depression talking. I have no other outlet. Hopes? Ha. Dreams? More like
nightmares that become my life.
Seriously, I should take up hooking. I'd be paid more. I already hate myself and have no respect for my body.
"What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here...."
3 comments:
Dad's got a past in urban plans so why not ask him the best location for you to establish a corner- you know the traffic flow, what times of day and all of the important stuff like that.
On a more positive note the Megabus hub changed to my city now...
This seems like terrible timing on thier part. And rather ungraceful parenting. I wish I could have seen you when we were in Florida. My little brother and his wife just had a baby, and we have to divide ourselves between two sets of parents whenever we visit (I relate to being a divorced child whenever we visit, it feels like that), so we always have very little time to see anyone else, of course we wanted to see the new nephew in Tampa! I miss you and I hope things get better, had you posted before I left I would have made sure to drop by and make sure you were okay, as it seems like you arent. My best to you. This is not your fault. It sounds like functionally, you are the one owed some money, or at least call it even on their part. It seems rather strange for them to demand like this. Yes you are their daughter but it was a mistake and mistakes were made on their part. They should call it even or explain themselves better, I think. Much love
Aly
Oh, Whit. Sigh. I can feel your frustration oozing off the page. Like you want to tear your own skin off because you can't stand one.more.minute. of this bullshit.
It's never seemed like your parents are very supportive of you. I've met them both and your dad even generously helped me with some legal advice. They're not bad people, certainly, but they don't seem willing to give you what you need -- whether it be money, trust, understanding, emotional support, you name it.
I understand the logistics really aren't the issue at this point, but has anyone contacted the bank to try to get more information about the mysterious transfer?
I know I am not the best of friends, but I am nearby, at least (compared to your many friends scattered about the country). I know you don't really like reaching out, but I am here. Let me know if you need anything. Email, FB, text, call.
I'm really sorry you're feeling so desperately awful.
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