In Boise, the leaves were yellow.

Ugh, memories.

Sometimes I'm grateful for them.
Other times....no.

So not only am I remembering vividly the sexual harassment and assault that's ALL too common in this field of study I want to go back and finish!(how absurd?), I am now starting to have memories of B telling me on a Sunday in late September that we had to move...back.

And in my mind, I saw the Rockies. I saw major and minor programming jobs vanish.

Because this, of course, meant, moving back "home." And for me, ultimately redefining "home."

Do I miss outwest? Oh, with all my heart. I really do. I am listening to radio station I loved out there--so funny when the poor DJ states the time (3 hour difference--it's just 5am now.)

But yes, I miss it. Deeply. I miss the idea of B healthy.

You know what? As emotional and pregnant and scared and a bit of every other emotion....we had fun on that trip. I mean, you've got to drive across the entire continent, might as well have some fun.

We did. It wasn't planned. We drove to Spokane or Couer d'Alene for the first night's stay?

It was just Spokane...And I think from there, Boise, then SLC. Then Denver--that was a helluva day. B thought SLC was rather possessed. I don't know, Mormons/desert air didn't serve him well.

But along the way, there are beautiful gorges to stop at. It's still warm during the day, but cooler. The leaves in Boise were yellow. Not gold, but yellow. It was comforting. It was a cool city (I couldn't imagine it doused in snow, really didn't want to find that out. Shame--it really was cool.)

And yes, it's the light that triggers these thoughts and memories. When C and I stepped outside how beautiful today was...

I wanted to throw my arms around her and cry. Instead, I hugged her, chatted a bit about friends, and then....crying now. It's not bad tears, or even sad tears. It's just....tears.

There's a song title I love. "Cry for everything that's wrong."

Do you ever feel like that? That maybe you're crying for everything that's wrong? (And then, you'll wipe those tears and do what you need?)

I am absolutely rambling. Well, hi, I'm blogging more now. Aren't you sorry you asked? ;) xo