11 August 2009

to the universe

Perhaps by putting this out there, the universe will respond in its own strange way.

I feel very alone.

I’m sure you probably feel like you do a lot, and you do, you do. I hope it’s clear that I appreciate all that you do.

The problem, I suppose, is that I don’t feel this appreciation is reciprocated. Work is stressful for us both, but when you come home, you rarely ever inquire how my day is. I volunteer the information, but do you really care? I am left to wonder. Sometimes I don’t tell you about my day. It doesn’t seem to matter.

And why would anyone be interested in my day? I wonder. What am I doing that’s so important or interesting? I’m not…


Ah—! But that’s the unhealthy part of me. I know this. I recognize it. (If only I could make it quieter.)

I’m sorry. I know you’re stressed. But I’m really feeling neglected right now. I don’t do much, and yet I do an awful lot for us as a family and us as a couple. It would be nice to feel appreciated sometimes.

It would be nice to feel closer to you than I feel right now.

I love you more than you know. I can say this with certainty.

I just want to feel loved too.

1 comment:

Happy Mama (Lisa Gonzalez) said...

I've been feeling a bit like this lately. Yesterday, when I was alone I had a breakdown. That's when I decided I had to TELL HIM. I hate seeming "weak" but the real weakness is trying to do it alone. So, I told him. "I need love, support and lots of hugs right now. I'm struggling to keep it together." Today, we are good. Today, I feel loved.

It's hard, but telling him is the best think you can do. ASK for what you need.