Emotionally Naked...and reveling in it.

I made a mistake, though.  Or is it a mistake…?

So here’s what I did:

A’s mom asked to see a picture of my wedding dress. It seems that the place I bought it from sold out of that style or is no longer carrying it, so my search on their website for the image of the dress was fruitless.

Where else, I wondered, would have that picture?

A light bulb went off over my head: my blog!

And so, I typed in the address for my blog and showed her the image of the dress.

Only…

1. I think (as in, I'm 98% certain) she may have taken noticed the URL.
2. If she didn’t take notice of it, then it’ll appear in the web-browser history because I forgot to clear it as she was, well, kinda right there and that would definitely have drawn attention to it.

On our way home, I considered closing the blog off for a couple days so only a select few could see it; however, I really have no desire to do that. This blog started as a private place for me to journal wherever I was, but it’s evolved into a place where I connect with friends. I can share my private thoughts with a select group who know me, and while yes, it’s open to the public, only a handful of people know the address.

I also thought, “Okay, so she reads it.”

I trust my future MIL to be respectful of my privacy. I’m an adult, and yes, I have a past that includes not dealing with stresses in the healthiest of manners. But I’m growing. I’m learning.  And I also trust that—should she read this blog—she will come to know me better. I don’t want to tell her the address but it’s no doubt in her browser history this very moment. Yes, I hope she has better things to do with her time, but should she be curious about me, my mindset, my past, my deepest thoughts—well, here they are.

I am not ashamed. I am not embarrassed. Okay, maybe a little embarrassed. ;) But…

This. Is. Me. Emotionally. Naked.

I have been through a lot more than people think when they first meet me. I have an “unusual way” of looking at the world, and I’ve grown to like and appreciate this unusual way I have of looking at the world.  Yeah, things suck sometimes. But everyone has issues. Every single one of us has issues.

I just choose to deal with mine.

Oh, and keep a blog about how I deal with my issues. LOL.

So…future MIL, if you’re reading this, Hello. I love you, I love your son. I cannot wait to marry him, to be legally recognized as a couple. I plan on growing old with him and being happy. Yes, there will be hard times--trust me, I'm painfully aware of this fact. But there will be good times, too, and I hope that the Fates will weave us a life of happiness together.

I trust him.

And I trust you.