So--you might remember this entry?
http://fragilego.blogspot.com/2010/01/feeling-passive-aggressive-to-put-it.html
Oh yes...all over again. Only in my family, my mom still pretends that nothing is wrong. My father takes his pissiness that he turned 61 out on me. And my sister tries to side with my parents, although once she understood that the issue is DISHONESTY or rather, not being open with me, then she got it.
As much as she will.
It seems everyone in my family thinks I am eternally indebted to them. Maybe not, but it sure as hell feels like it. Especially right now.
And you know I'm hurting when I can't write much about it.
I love my family. I mean, yes, we all have faults. I accept that.
And they have helped me tremendously over the years.
But...I'm giving myself permission to still hurt over this dishonesty. I'm supposed to be honest and open. I mean, all relationships are built, in part, on trust. And trust is earned/gained through honesty, no?
So this smarts.
And I'm selfishly nursing my wounds and anger.
3 comments:
personally i hate the part of mental illness that makes people ready to decide you're crazy. like because i get depressed or anxious i am the same as someone with a more severe and invasive illness like severe schizophrenia. i have and maintain a grasp on that which we call reality while some, who deal with something like schizophrenia might have a reality that is far removed from that of the majority of people----a reality that is theirs alone.
anyway, to be crass, i say (to those who would be annoyed and sanctified for their being part of the lives with someone who has any kind of mental illness) well, i say to them colloquially: bitch, i GOT my crazy----don't go spreading yo' crazy on me!
also do note that i say this as a self identifying crazy.
you are neither of those things you listed in the title. be nice to my Whit. xo.
. . . what Shannon said . . . xoxo
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