Suddenly, We Have Choice

Let me start with a logic refresher. 

Argumentum ad verecundiam, better known as “appeal to authority” or argument from authority, is a fallacy of defective induction. The typical appeal to authority takes this form:

1. Source X says that q is true.
2. Source X is an authority on q.
3.  Therefore, q is true.

We see this all the time and even use it daily. Think of a commercial with a doctor-looking person. The assumption is that you’ll trust this person’s opinion more because they look like an expert. Fallacious reasoning! 

I start with this because A’s feelings about birth have, up until the other night, been essentially the “doctors know your body better than you.” I have disliked this assumption greatly. Doctors are there, I feel, to help you and thus, should listen when a patient relates to them how she is progressing in labor. A used to think all the medical interventions in birth were necessary, and that homebirths were crazy.

That changed a little while we watched The Business of Being Born the other night. 

Now, I had not seen it before. I cannot say that I learned anything from the movie, but then again, I read (and own) a ton of books about midwifery and the issues with the medicalization of birth (that is, treating pregnancy and all aspects of it like a disease that needs treatment instead of accepting it as a natural part of the lives of women.)

A was astounded by the movie. He not only saw natural births and water births, but he heard the revered ob-gyn doctors opine again and again, “most women can give birth without me and they should. Stay home, be comfortable, save me for the emergencies.” 

He saw the statistics about midwives and the rest of the world, maternal and infant mortality in the US and the rest of the world. He laughed at the idea that American women are somehow “different” than all the other women in the world (which someone postulated to explain the skyrocketing C-section rate in the US compared to the world).  

The documentary challenged his ideas about pregnancy and childbirth, and he was open to the challenge. Throughout the movie, he kept looking at me and saying, “Can’t you just give birth at home and I’ll deliver it?”  Now, this is certainly demonstrative of his laughable naivety about birthing overall, but a drastic change from, “why can’t we just go to the hospital and you’ll have the C-section without even exploring the idea of a VBAC?”  

He liked the idea of a water birth, as do I. He loved the idea of a homebirth.

Am I going to be allowed to do this? I don’t know. Unfortunately, it’s hard to have anything the way you want it when you’ve had a C-section.

Still, feeling renewed and more supported in, at least, exploring the options, I called a different mw yesterday and explained my situation. We talked briefly about my labour with C, and we both agreed that I may have “failed to progress” due to the lack of support and security I felt at that time, with regards to B’s illness. She isn’t able to be a midwife at the birth, but she knows some people who might, so she’ll get back to me soon. She also said if she can’t, she’d be happy to be my mw and then, when labor starts and I have to go to the hospital, take on the role of doula. She feels that I should definitely be allowed to try a VBAC.

 Let’s not forget that with C, I dilated to 9 on my own, without any Pitocin or other augmenting drug. All on my own, no pain medication.  I didn’t do that to be brave or “natural”; I did it because it was empowering for me to do that, to remind myself what this body I’ve starved and abused remains capable of something so beautiful and powerful. And I did that for 45 hours, which is apparently something A had forgotten.

“You know why I had a C-section, don’t you?”
“Sure, they intervened at the hospital after you labored for 12 hours.” A answered after watching the movie.

“No!” I laughed. “Only 12 hours! I was in labour with C for almost 2 days!”
“What?”
“ Yes, 45 hours. I went into labor around 6:30-7:00 on December 21^st. I spent most of labor at home. I went to the birth center when the contractions got much stronger, around 8pm on December 22^nd—I was probably dilated around 6 cm at that point. I continued to labor over the night of the 22^nd, I reached 9 cm around 3 or 4 am, but couldn’t make it past that. I was essentially stalled between 8 and 9 cm for 12 hours.”

“Wait…when did you start labor?”
“On December 21^st.”
“And C was born…wow.” 

So…I don’t know what type of birth I’ll have. But I’m glad that I’m finding options, now, instead of the “You must have a C-section, and it’ll be best [i.e., easier for the doctor’s schedule] if it’s scheduled.” 

Because, at some point, I have to stand up and fight for what’s best and healthiest for not just the baby, but also for me.