Sensitivity training

I’ve been keeping to  myself, in part because I’ve really thrown myself into activism and I feel a renewed passion for being the change I want to see in the world.

Corny, but true.

Last night, A and I were having a discussion, and at one point—I was not upset—he told me not to be so sensitive.

The comment made me so mad, and I had to think about why it made me angry.

1.       It’s patronizing.

2.       It discredits my emotions.

3.       It assumes that the problem is with me, not us, not him, not stress.

You get the idea.

This is a comment thrown at women by men meant as helpful, but really, it’s about the patriarchy and power, isn’t it? Your emotions, your opinions, your feelings are irrelevant and invalid. . It’s quite a common theme in our culture, so of course, the microcosm of my marriage gets some of that.

Common does not mean it is okay, though.
 

Nor does use of it indicate any degree of truth.

I will admit that I can be sensitive at times. Many people—dare I say all of my friends—can be sensitive at times. I don’t think it’s a bad thing, and I love that about them. When I’m upset, appropriate empathy is comforting and makes me feel “heard” so I can then move on and get over it. The same sensitivity can prompt people to reach out to someone who’s withdrawing from friends and family. I was not being sensitive at all during the conversation, and because I was so shocked, didn’t even think to ask “what prompted that?”

I DID manage to finally tell A that I was taking a new medicine for my depression. I get mixed feelings about his reaction, which was, “Is it okay for E?”
 

That was all he could think of. There was no, “Are you feeling okay?” “Is it working?”  

Just E. Which is awesome. . .  but ugh, that new-mom-lose-your-identity-self-worth thing from my own husband?!?

At least I was spared his “psychology and psychiatry are bull shit” talk, which he knows that if he ever again says that, he MUST come to an appointment with me.

I shall leave you with good news:
 

I’ve started my law school apps! *eek*