Good news, maybe? (for once)

I know, I'm sure you're in shock, if you're one of the, oh, 15 people that actually have permission to read this blog...and assuming you DO read this blog.

Let me back up before I get to the good news. (I need to build suspense, people.)

Christmas was quite an eventful day for us. On Christmas evening, C discovered my father's anti-anxiety pills and helped herself to one. We rushed her to the ER, where we were told that we would have to wait it out and stay in the ER for a while, as they monitored her breathing.

Her breathing was fine. The major symptom/sign that she had overdosed was that she was acting drunk. This is not my opinion, this was the declaration from one of the doctors. Another doctor chuckled and said, "Aw, you're stoned, aren't you, sweetheart?"

C, for her part, was quite a pleasant child while under the influence. She was insisting on being independent, yet couldn't stand up on her own without tipping over. At the time, I was horrified. And don't get me wrong, this remains a nightmare come true. But a little distance adds a bit of humour to it. I've never been drunk or stoned, yet my 2 year old has.

Clearly, I'm on my way for Best Mother in the World title.

I also want to share that the next day was miserable for C and me. She was "hungover", I suppose, and for the first time in her life, was completely and totally inconsolable for the entire day. By the end of the day, I was ready to down the bottle of anti-anxiety pills.

And now, my good friends who bother to read this, the good news.

I HAVE A "DATE". I don't know what else to call it, but I suppose it's a date. With a guy I'll call A for now, whom I met in a local store. It turns out he's the owner of the store. I went into the store earlier this week and started talking to him. Then yesterday I returned to check and see if they had something I wanted (they did.) A saw me and came out from behind the counter. We proceeded to talk for over an hour. At one point I said, "Do you need to go back to work? I don't want you to get in trouble."

He responded, "I am the boss, I own the store."

Oh. Wow.

I am so stupid sometimes. I can never tell if a guy just wants to be friends or is interested in more. I somehow lack that radar. So I have no idea if this is a possible platonic friendship or something more...

But it's really renewed my inner sense of energy and independence. I feel like a person again, a member of the human race. Since B left me, I've been dragging and struggling. I know rebounding is the worst thing I could do, and if A and I end up with a relationship, it won't be rebounding. I don't know how to describe it, but mentally, I am ready for this. I am not attempting to justify it, I am listening to my heart. And my heart is reminding me that it was nearly a year ago that I started truly losing B from my life...it was a year ago that he stopped taking his medication, and started acting more erratically.

I don't know. We'll see.

For now, I'm enjoying the lovely and stupid fluttery-stomach feelings I have when I think about my "date" tomorrow with A...or even the fact that he's supposed to call me tonight.