Planting houses, building trees

A lot has been on my mind of late…

Where to start?

I guess I should just make a list of things, and fill it in as I go along.

1. My run for Senate: This is looking good so far. People believe in me. This is amazing. I’m having lunch today with someone who could be very beneficial in helping my campaign. I’m sure I’ll leave lunch feeling overwhelmed. But maybe I’ll have a better plan of action and have a better idea of what I need to do. And maybe I’ll be able to start collecting signatures sooner!

2. Applying to law school/LSAT stuff: Good news is that I’m making progress on narrowing down schools and doing LSAT practice problems whenever a free moment appears. The not-so-good part is that I do not qualify for a fee waiver. The not-good-at-all part is that I feel really unsupported in this.

3. C’s well-being: C is potty trained! Hooray! I am so proud of her. Just remember not to walk near the bathroom while she’s in it, or she’ll call out, “I want my PRIVACY!”

4. A moving his store: Yes, A is moving his store. I’ve helped him with the lease, and I’ve helped him with getting the mess left by the previous tenant cleaned up. A is stressed about moving the store, and I am empathetic. However, I’m tired of the really nasty moods he comes home in, where everyone in the world is Bad, Evil, Selfish, etc. I am tired of having to be cheerful. I am tired of him being “this way.” It’s not fair to him, it’s not fair to me, and it’s not fair to C. I keep reminding myself this is temporary, and it damn well better be temporary. I feel taken for granted and not very loved. I feel like I’m having to give support all the time, but don’t get any back from him.

5. Oh, and there’s one more issue. Parenting and Food. I don’t think C should be told she has to eat everything on her plate. A believes if I make something for her, she should eat everything on her plate. Why? Who are we to mandate the portions she eats? She may only have three bites of dinner. Fine—it’s there for her, she can have what she wants. I don’t want to force her to eat. I mean, it’s not like she gets to say, “I don’t want my quinoa, I want ‘fire chips’ [Doritos]” and I give her the chips. When I was talking about this with A last night, after C went to bed, he actually played the “Well, you have an eating disorder” card.
I was/am so disappointed. But I was ready: I spurred back with the “Am I not healthy?” card.
Oh, snap. Take that.
Hate to say it, but people who have had an eating disorder for most of their life probably DO know more about food than you…that’s not necessarily a good thing, but that’s just how it is.

And here we are: it’s nearly November—the month I was hospitalized, 14 years ago…