lose-lose

I seem to keep finding myself in these lose-lose situations, where I'm damned no matter what I do.

Today, for example. I was talking with a certain member of my family. This family member has encouraged me to talk openly about how I'm feeling re: B's illness. So I mentioned him. Just mentioned him. I didn't go into any detail, and the mention was more comical than sad.

"I don't care, I'm not interested." Said member of family said, dismissing me faster than I can snap my feelings.

And yet my family--all of them--get irritated when I bottle up my emotions. WTF am I supposed to do? Open up so you can pour salt in the wound?

I love my family, but darn it, they do an amazingly fantastic job of having unrealistic expectations of me.

I do have feelings, guys. And like yours, my emotions aren't always pleasant.

So there you go--why this blog seems to be mostly negative and whiny. It is LITERALLY the only place I can "talk" about my emotions.