Yesterday was my birthday, and I turned 30. I've been looking forward to this age for a lot of reasons. I planned on doing something I've never done before.
And I did do something I have never done before. Only, it wasn't the sort of activity I had planned on doing, and it was by no means fun. Or happy. Or anything of the sort.
It was a bitter cold day, yesterday, and the wind was unforgiving. The sky was gray and ominous. It rained a smidge earlier in the morning, but by 2:00 pm, the rain had at least stopped.
You see, yesterday I went to the funeral of a woman that I've known since I was 11.
Yesterday, I had the tragic honour of being a pallbearer for her casket.
Yesterday, I literally helped bury my friend in the ground as I shoveled dirt on top of her coffin.
32 years old. Fluent in 5 languages. Brilliant. A beautiful smile. A loving family.
Now in the cold ground.
I had never been to a burial before, so of course I had never been a pallbearer. I have never been that close to an open grave. I had never peered down at the simple casket with a Star of David. I had never watched as 5-6 feet below me, carnations and the Star of David became less and less visible under the Florida dirt.
It hurt so much.
It still hurts more than I can say.
I miss you, Muriel. I love you and I miss you.
3 comments:
thinking of you. ((((( w )))))
it was an awful day. but it brought all of her friends together, and in a strange way, it's a gift.
oh whitney, I'm so sorry you lost your friend. I know how much it hurts to lose someone, and how your brain won't quite accept that they're gone. Big, big hugs from me.
Post a Comment