I did it

I did it.

Yesterday, I wrote B a very brief, to-the-point letter. I requested that he stop sending me text messages. Should he need to contact me regarding his daughter, he could write or call.

Then I blocked his text messaging, which was a much more complicated process than it should have been. I spent a good amount of time on the phone with Verizon (my provider) and T-Mobile (his carrier). But I think I got it worked out…we’ll see. Last night, I did receive a text message from him. It was about Sisyphus.

— Your honour, I request that this text message be entered into evidence as proof that the Defendant is not of sane mind.
— Granted.

At first, I felt guilty about blocking B’s text messages. But last night, when I was driving home from a late night with A, I realized that I am doing what is healthy for…him. And finally, what is healthy for him is also what is healthy for me.

It feels good. I am slightly worried that he may show up at my door or at work. But so what if he does? He’s not dangerous. Emotionally, I am on stronger ground than ever before; and it’s funny, because he’s the reason I stand on stronger ground.

Things are going well with A. I love him, he loves me…and I am beginning to let myself believe he actually loves me. I’m not sure why, but I try not to ponder this. I just let myself enjoy being with him. He’s not without his own issues, but I love that we are both deeply committed so early. None of this messing about, no stupid games. Just being yourself with someone who accepts you, loves you, finds you fascinating…