04 May 2009

monday means one thing...

Again, I feel really unsettled.

C and I spent most of the weekend with A. We spent Friday and Saturday night at his place, as well as most of the day, Sunday.

It was very nice.

But I left feeling unsettled, uncertain. Everything ended a bit abruptly yesterday evening. I don’t know. Right before we left last night, he said, “I love you” to me, he kissed me, I knew he was tired; I know all the reasons why I should believe he’s still very much in this. We had talked some more about moving in together, about our plans for our future.

But I still feel unsettled, insecure. I keep expecting the unexpected…that this dream is really a nightmare, more heartbreak on its way.

Ugh.

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