pointless

I can sum up how I'm doing today quite succinctly.

I am not okay.

Ah, but I act okay. I mean, I have to act as though I'm okay. What am I going to do, lie in bed and cry all day? I can't do that, literally because of Charis and also the negative attention that would bring. I cannot do that.

And honestly, what good is lying about going to do? I cannot even cry.

So I drudge along, smile and pick up on social cues. Pretend to find things funny. And inside, I wince. Because at this moment, life is a reminder of B, of all the good times we had together.

I'm incomplete, I'm broken.

blah.