14 August 2008

Breathing underwater


I am heartbroken.

I received a call from B’s “case worker”. Her name is Dawn; I’ve never met her, I’ve never spoken with her.

She relayed the message to me, from B, that he was having a hard time and would appreciate that I not contact him.

How do you hear this without making it sound like a break-up?

The poor messenger, Dawn, went on to say that B claims he still loves me and C. You can tell I’m more than a little skeptical. If he loves us so much, why do we always come last? Why couldn’t one of his parents say “B needs a break.” I mean, good lord, I figured out that they must have had their phones off the hook or purposely wouldn’t answer when I called.

Hurt? I’m beyond hurt.

Oh, and doesn’t this help with the feelings of invisibility?

I'm not being passive aggressive, but it may take me a longer time to be ready to speak to him than it takes him to be ready to talk to me.

:: crying ::

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