I think I am angry

I think I'm angry.

I'm angry at B for getting sick. I'm doing the single mom thing, and I'm tired. I didn't sign up to be a single parent, but I am. And yes, it's temporary...but I'm resentful.

(I could go on and on and on about that...)

Yes, life is full of unexpected surprises. But my god, this is ridiculous.

I'm angry at my parents. They've promised that they would help me out, financially. And they have...a little. But they said they would pay for C's school, and they haven't. My mom has offered to transfer money to my account, but hasn't. It's all words. We help, we care. Bullshit. I mean, yes, they do care. And to be fair, my parents have a lot of stress in their life without ME being a FAILURE...

and that leads me to B's parents. Where are they? What do they do? They bought diapers for me once. ONE TIME IN 19 MONTHS! Whenever they have presents for C, do you know what it is? Some idiotic fru-fru dress. Yes, it's lovely. Yes, she looks like a doll. Yes, she loves wearing those.

But my god, is that fucking practical? NO!
And my daughter is not a doll you just dress up. Play with her. Show fucking interest in her and her life--she's amazing.

Yeah...money is the source of my problems right now. My psychologist is out of town this week, so I don't get to meet with her. I just feel like the message the universe is sending me is you don't matter, quit complaining, just disappear.

I need ...good change.

*prays to the universe for good change to come soon*